my political action for the day

Ok, so this past week or so, my favorite blogger in all of blogdom, Sady Doyle, had this whole thing with a troll who tried to tell her she was RUINING FEMINISM. With her humor. Right. And Sady responded, awesomely. And then people were super offended because Sady said this one thing...

"And now, Freddie? Now, I’m Sady fucking Doyle. Of Tiger fucking Beatdown. Which gets roughly one hundred fucking thousand pageviews per month. And if you don’t like my jokes, motherfucker, then what you can do is, you can just. Fucking. LIVE WITH IT. Because these jokes, this secret little mode of resistance that I developed because I had no other options, have become the way I pay my rent. And neither you nor your various Serious Theory Friends nor God himself nor ANYTHING short of my own unexpected and sudden death in a car accident can fucking stop me. This is maybe self-aggrandizing, but you know what? I’m fine with that. I made myself who I am today, and she’s a pretty fucking great lady to be. And the thing is, if you can work harder than I have, if you can write better than I can, if you can equal or surpass my accomplishment, I’ll aggrandize you, too. God knows I don’t hesitate to sing the praises of people like, I dunno, Choire Sicha or Jessica Valenti or Jill Filipovic or Josh Fruhlinger or Clay Shirky, all of whom have done way better work than I have. But you can’t do even as well as I have, Freddie. Can you? Which is part of this whole deal. You’re not better than me, and it makes you sad."

And people freaked the fuck out. Mostly, it seems, about "I'm Sady fucking Doyle." And then Sady responded and it was even more incredible than before. And she talked about the upset about her being Sady fucking Doyle and about her taking fucking pride in her work and owning it and how awesome she is.

"And, yeah, the “I’m Sady fucking Doyle” thing turned people off. You think I didn’t know it would turn people off? Women are not supposed to say that shit, even when it’s true. And it was there completely on purpose, with full acknowledgement that people would call me a narcissist, self-absorbed, in love with myself, etc, for saying it. Because I wanted to convey to Freddie that Freddie ain’t shit, largely because he actually ain’t. But I also wanted Freddie, who is hugely terrified of women who assert their authority and primacy in the feminist movement, to be confronted with the sight of a woman acknowledging, accepting, and reveling in her own authority and power. That shit is terrifying, often even to women, but definitely to men. So now Freddie’s sulking that Sady Doyle is “telling everyone about how impressed with herself she is.” And I am. Because I knew that would piss him the hell off. Because I’m a woman, and I have accordingly been taught my entire life to view myself as lesser-than, to devalue my own accomplishments, to accept it when other people treat me as lesser-than and devalue me, which they (if they are men, especially) have been taught to do. And I refuse. I say no. I tell you I’m Sady fucking Doyle, and I expect you to believe it. Being a woman who likes herself, is proud of herself, is impressed with herself, in public: There might not be a more subversive act."

So this is all awesome. And then Kate Harding, who I also love, followed up with a thread calling commenters to own their awesome. And it was also incredible.

You see, the thing is that it is weird in our culture when a woman states how awesome she is. It sounds strange that someone would say something like what Sady said because we are used to women saying things like "I'm just a [whatever]" or denying their awesomeness at someone for the sake of humility. But you know what? It's fucking stupid to deny how awesome we are just for the reason of being humble. We get passed over and ignored and treated like shit because while our male peers are allowed to kick ass and be loud about it, we get to be humble and quite. Humility is a shitty virtue. Because also, there is this thing where it becomes hard to succeed and sell yourself for jobs or whatever when you think you're only ok at the things you kick ass at. It is a favor to no one when you dismiss yourself as only ok. And it is a political action to declare that not only are you awesome but that you know it and believe it too. This is taking back our power, taking back our right to be proud and excited and loud about it when we do the things we do best. It's like spitting in the eye of the patriarchy and you know, the only thing I advocate spitting in the eye of is the patriarchy. And if societal norms and standards don't like this spitting, may I give my advice?

Society, go put on your big boy panties and grow the fuck up.

And yes, this is an example of patriarchal oppression systems. Our dude counterparts learn to be proud, to be excited about our achievements. We learn to sit down and shut up. It's fucked up. Because the thing is, we're fucking awesome. Ladies, it's true. We're all fucking awesome. Every single one of us. Every woman is awesome in her own way. And we've got to own it. It's time to stop downplaying our achievements. It is time to be goddamn proud because we kick ass. We do, we really truly honestly do.

I'll go first.

I'm Dwyn Fucking A and I'm a fucking incredible photographer. I kick ass at what I do. I care and I work hard and my shit looks good. It does. Teachers know my name and they respect me. I get my shit done and people like me. I have had two different, unrelated teachers in unrelated classes invite me to do independent study with them. My first solo show was fucking gorgeous. And I owe it to myself. I took those photos, I make those cuts, I chose that project, and I worked my ass off to make an awesome product. I am going to be incredibly successful as a photographer and do you know why? Because I am Dwyn Fucking A and I kick ass.

Your turn now.