I Wanted To See What Real Courage Is

Today I'm thinking about music and my life. This will be part one of a multi-part blog-type thing where I'm going to talk about the albums that have a real effect on my life. Some have saved me from doing something that I'd regret later, some have helped me get through emotional blocks. Music is so much a part of my life and I know that I really owe a lot to some of these brilliant artists. Everyone has that song, that album, that artist. It's not just me. Everyone has the music that soothes them, enrages them, empowers them, cheers them, depresses them, distances them. So this blog is dedicated to one of my more loved albums


The Crane Wife
The Decemberists

I bought this cd after a friend recommended it to me. I listened to it once, thought it was overrated and completely dismissed it. Right before I met my current girlfriend, I picked this cd up again and something about it really pulled me in. I'm completely in love with the song 'The Shankill Butchers' which talks about a violent gang that goes about with knives at night in Northern Ireland and slaughters innocents. While the song talks about bloody murders and whatnot, it's also sort of a night time boogie man story. To better illustrate my point, I give you a video of the song and the lyrics



The Shankill butchers ride tonight
You better shut your windows tight
They're sharpening their cleavers and their knives
And taking all their whiskey by the pint

'Cause everybody knows
If you dont mind your mother's words
A wicked wind will blow
Your ribbons from your curls
Everybody moan, everybody shake
The Shankill Butchers want to catch you awake

They used to be just like me and you
They used to be sweet little boys
But something went horribly askew
Now killing is their only source of joy

'Cause everybody knows
If you dont mind your mother's words
A wicked wind will blow
Your ribbons from your curls
Everybody moan, everybody shake
The Shankill Butchers want to catch you awake

The Shankill Butchers on the rise
They're waiting 'til the dead of night
They're picking at their fingers with their knives
And wiping off their cleavers on their thighs

'Cause everybody knows
If you dont mind your mother's words
A wicked wind will blow
Your ribbons from your curls
Everybody moan, everybody shake
The Shankill Butchers want to catch you
The shankill Butchers want to cut you
The Shankill Butchers want to catch you awake
Awake
Awake
Awake

So, to explain. Well, the whole 'better listen to mom' is the boogie man thing. When we grow up we hear 'if you don't listen to me and stop making faces, then your face will get stuck like that' and the like. It's essentially 'if you don't do x, then y will happen.' So here, it's 'if you don't listen to your mother, some scary people who used to be good but got corrupted will kill you.' See? It's the parental control thing. It's the stick instead of the carrot. And then in some ways, this is how I think some people feel about people like me. There are people out there who are afraid of people like me. Why are they afraid? Because I am not the same. Though I'm not figurativly killing anyone, I could metephoricly kill their goodness or their morality. The threat of my differences is scary. So a parent might say something like this to their child: 'If you don't stay away from people who are queer/odd/different then your goodness/purity/mind will be corrupted by their differences.'

So sure, I'm not killing anyone. And if I corrupt a few minds, it's not on purpose. I mean entirely well. But it's impossible to live as activist without treading on someone's feelings. It will happen, it is inevitable. All I can promise is that I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I'm not big on causing trouble like that.

Pretty much, I know that I do want to be accepted. I know I shouldn't care what people think about me but I do and I want them to like me. I'd like to stop caring and I'm trying to work on that but it's not a fast change.

So that's my thoughts for tonight.

Quote of the Day
I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 11, spoken by the character Atticus