dwyn does not understand why disclaimers are needed for feminist statements. why not just be a feminist?

Friends, I'd like to take a momentary detour out of the mainly bloglady updates to head into favorite waters. By which I mean: Lady business! Business to do with the ladies! It's exciting, I know, but hold your applause.

So I was thinking this past week and I decided that my new favorite phenominon in the world of people are the folks who say Awesome Feminist Things! and then lead up their Awesome Feminist Things! with this statement: "I mean, I'm not a feminist but...". Why does this intrigue me so? Because I don't understand why so many people are so unable to identify as feminists. I do not comprehend the desire to say Awesome Feminist Things! but only if they come prefaced with this disclaimer: WARNING, I'M TOTALLY NOT A FEMINIST EVERYONE. Because it's no big shame to be a feminist. It really isn't. Lots of cool and exciting people are feminists. Lots of cool and exciting things have been done by feminists. There is no shame in this. So why are so many people shying away from self-identifying as feminists?

I think there are probably many reasons. I will even make a list! With bullet points!

• Lots of women think that being a feminist means you must hate shopping and stop wanting to have sex with your male partner(s). This is untrue! Many feminists totally like shopping! Important ones too. Shopping doesn't have to be a gendered activity anyway, being in possession of a vagina no more makes you the queen of the mall than does the possession of a Y chromosome make you unable to stand in a store [and then what does that mean when we consider our transgendered friends?]. But feminism is about the idea that the things we do don't need to be about our genitals at all times. This is sort of a tangent I'm going to wander away from though. Point is, feminism no more defines your likes and dislikes than does any other identifier you put to yourself. Being a feminist just means you don't think that genitals should be all that important to how your life runs.
• A huge group of people think that being a feminist means you cannot enjoy non-feminist things. This? Makes me laugh. I love lots of things and people who are not remotely feminist friendly. It's a truth! Stargate? So not feminist. Angel? Oh my god, not even remotely feminist. But these are things I still kinda like anyway. I can't help it! Feminism isn't about perfection, it's not about liking the right things to get into the club. It's about living your life and being able to recognize that sometimes the things we really like (Stargate, Angel, for some of you, Twilight) are not totally in line with our politics. Sometimes we make decisions about what media we consume based in this, sometimes we don't. I make these choices every day. Somethings I choose to consume, with the understanding that the messages that these things endorse are not in line with what I believe. That's ok. It doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me a person who is living realistically in the world she is given. It just means that if someone says to me "Gosh, you know that Angel, so not a feminist friendly show" I get to say "Yeah, you're right." And then I move on and keep watching it. I compromise. Sometimes I make the choice that lets my entertainment be in line with what I believe, sometimes I don't. It's ok. And I wouldn't hold anyone to a higher standard than that to which I hold myself.
  
• Feminism is often seen as a refuge of the man-haters, the ugly women, the angry women. This? Just pretty much wrong. Wrongity wrong wrong wrong.
• I've also heard a lot of folks say that feminism doesn't include men. That it's not about working for equality, it's about working for women. To this I say: Wrong. But also, a little, yes. Yes, feminism is about working for equality for women. Women of all colors, creeds, bodies, everything. No, feminism is not really about what we can do for the men. Pretty much everything else is, just not really feminism. But the thing is this: Sexism and the patriarchy, things feminism fights against, they hurt men too. Have you ever heard a man being villified for being too girly? For wearing pink? For acting gay? Folks, that's all based on a sexist system that places female bodied people and female identified things as inferior to male bodied people and male identified things. We make fun of girly things, consider women who wear dresses less professional, belittle typically woman dominated professions (child care, house cleaning, so forth), and no matter what a woman's sexuality looks like, it is wrong and also totally for public consumption. So if a male bodied or identified person engages in behaviors or activities considered to be feminine, he is taunted. This is sexism! Feminists? Think this is wrong! Pink is no less serious than blue but that we decided it to be so. Girls are no more delicate than boys but that we decided it to be so. Is everyone starting to get the picture. Boys get shamed for wanting in on typically "girly things," I, as a feminist, think this is bullshit! Sexism! It hurts men too!
• "But men and women are Different!" This argument is annoying. Equal does not mean same. We can be different but still both be treated like humans.
• "Feminist theory is boring. And not practical. And I'm not that radical anyway." Folks, tons of feminist folks aren't all that radical. It's like being a Christian. You could be like an Evangelical or a Catholic or a Unitarian or whatever and even within these sects be religious to varying degrees. There are very few beliefs that are universal among all feminists and there is no standard for involvement or radicalness. Absolutely not
  

There are probably more reasons why feminism isn't more embraced. QUESTION: Do you identify as a feminist? Why? Why not? I'm curious to see what's up readers. What makes you identify like you do? Inquiring Dwyns want to know!