In which I hate myself

I hate myself.

I'm so filled with self-loathing

At the same time, I'm also very detatched from the whole concept of hating myself

So I simultaniously hate and am apathetic about myself.

No wonder I can't get up the courage to ask for the things I want...

Why would I when it's just easier to do the self sabatoging thing and punish myself for how much I hate me.

I'm such a fucking looser.

And the worst part is, I totally know what I'm doing and I'm very logical about it and still, I just can't stop it.

Pathetic...

I'm just really pathetic.

Quote of the Day
"I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one. . . . Humans are caught—in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too—in a net of good and evil. . . . There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well—or ill?" - John Steinbeck, East Of Eden