brain matter words

So does it not please you?
the words I say and shape out of brain matter

i make them for you and
i learn and i grow and it's for me
but-


it's also for you.

So-



it doesn't make you happy?
not that even that i've gr-
own, up, like a tree or a weed or
a rising line of smoke?
and if these things
these things, if they don't
please you, if they
if they make you
pull away and forget, and forget...

what did you want me to do?



with a great force of strength, i am lifting, moving up and
rising, coming from my own destruction
better armed
seeking only whats next.

we don't move back, i
don't move back, what was was. we don't
return, we don't.
sometimes we cannot go back and be wincing children sometimes
sometimes. there is no place for the ashes we left
keep them if you want



what did you want me to do?

when i stretch and transform, it's to show
I CAN i can change and become a deity if i want

and i don't

and i want to prove, you you you did this, not
you alone but you and why why does this
change all of THIS?



i don't go back, no more wincing childhood, no more


i'll take your hand and tell you the girl you knew, she is dead, felled by the passing of time.




i am who is left. i am
i am
i am


still