this is what we call anger. anger and what the shit

You know, I've been asked a couple of times why I hate men. And the honest answer? I don't. I don't love men, I just don't hate them either. I have sometimes a general sort of cautiousness around them but aside from that, I don't particularly care about them beyond the general way in which we care about most people.

What I do hate though is dude nation. Dude nation is the entitled, brainless borg of men that seems to comprise a fairly large population. Do you know doodz like this? I think most of us do. But I'm not really talking about them. I'm trying to talk about what the fucked up attitudes Dude Nation brings into sex. And keep in mind, Dude Nation is thanks to patriarchy. I'd be doing more explaining but shit, I'm so angry, I'm more concerned with making my main point

Here's the point: Since I've started college, I've heard more stories about female friends being harrassed, demeaned, and even raped. And it makes me furious, more angry that I even know how to say. So here's the message I want to impart to both Dude Nation and to women and the world at large.

Women are people. Got that? Women are people and not only does that mean you must treat them as such, it also means that when they call you on it, when they point out that, shit, we don't like to be treated like objects, you don't get to be all pissec cause a women said no.

And more to the point on this rape stuff: Let me be crystal clear. Rape is rape, even if the rapist is a family member, a friend, a spouse, a stranger, anyone. There's no acceptable rape. That doesn't fucking exist. It doesn't. And there's no excuse, no point at which one could say "well, she was asking for it." Because that's not how it works. Women wearing skimpy clothes aren't asking for it, women who flirt aren't asking for it, women who are drunk or high aren't asking for it, prostitutes aren't asking for it, lesbians aren't asking for it, women who walk by themselves at night aren't asking for it. Got that? I don't see how it's all that hard but clearly, some of Dude Nation thinks it is.

And one last thing.

Consent is not the absence of no. Need that again? CONSENT IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF NO. Repeat it until it gets through your thick fucking skull.

What is consent? Yes, happily and freely given. Not being nagged, coerced, blackmailed, beaten, pestered, bribed into saying yes. And going into a dude's room is not the same thing as saying yes. Consenting one time to a sexual encounter does not extend consent forever. Being married or dating someone doesn't give them automatic consent.

Shit, you know what Dude Nation? Stop hurting my friends.

I blame the patriarchy.