god, how do you sleep?

what sort of life it is to be existing here

and now?

God, in such a world,

such a world as this

and the hate you feel can be so

skin searing.

god, i feel it, deep in my

bones like

hot hot iron or

molten steel, blistering and

splitting skin from muscle from bone

from soul, from everything.

so disjointed and god, how do we

exist and keep existing when half of what

we breath is just hate or maybe

violence or bullshit.

it's like drowning, only

we're doing it together,

syncronized dying, set up so

no one can save anyone else. We

deserve a gold metal, first place.

and who thought it could

mean so much and why

did that change absolutely everything

around. like just being aware makes the things

we face just that much more

wicked

and evil

and also, insurmountable.

like just being aware that i am a woman

and opening up my eyes,

closing down aperture and

seeing just so much

MORE and

so much sharper that even light,

god, even light, it cuts and it burns

and god, how do we live with

ourselves?

we're like sheep, led to slaughter,